I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize