Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize