2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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