so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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