We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize