I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
