did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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