did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
