that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
