the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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