Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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