Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
