i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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