Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I am spending my child support on dildos
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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