I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
