Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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