Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(623): View more from Arizona

So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.

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(706): View more from Georgia

New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.

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(703): View more from Virginia

im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again

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(253): View more from Washington

Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.

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(647): View more from Ontario

You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking

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