So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate