Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist. http://tfl.nu/5y9j
  Replies (0) Good night (771) Bad night (2008)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke http://tfl.nu/g6cx
  Replies (15) Good night (1023) Bad night (4665)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  just woke up in my neighbors garage.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): just woke up in my neighbors garage. (931): scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage. http://tfl.nu/x40j
  Replies (21) Good night (9610) Bad night (1506)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok. http://tfl.nu/l3f8
  Replies (10) Good night (4205) Bad night (1575)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed? http://tfl.nu/66dn
  Replies (15) Good night (975) Bad night (6703)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  yes. helicopter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back? (816): yes. helicopter. http://tfl.nu/re1i
  Replies (19) Good night (5726) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy. http://tfl.nu/an4v
  Replies (30) Good night (2280) Bad night (6341)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch. http://tfl.nu/9tc4
  Replies (15) Good night (1418) Bad night (3345)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  You and your mom would make an amazing tag team

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex (1-614): You and your mom would make an amazing tag team http://tfl.nu/l8wh
  Replies (23) Good night (8245) Bad night (1472)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake. http://tfl.nu/fpto
  Replies (50) Good night (1601) Bad night (5705)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true. http://tfl.nu/jgul
  Replies (11) Good night (2222) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life http://tfl.nu/pypl
  Replies (13) Good night (2810) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become? http://tfl.nu/ygut
  Replies (6) Good night (1558) Bad night (1451)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that. http://tfl.nu/nlmq
  Replies (2) Good night (404) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off" http://tfl.nu/cdng
  Replies (3) Good night (225) Bad night (431)

Randomize