Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
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so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
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I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night