i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
