I haven't been this sober since birth.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
