strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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