so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
