I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize