can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
