brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
