Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
