I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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