Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
