In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize