I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize