and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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