great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
But break dance skills will only take you so far
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
