Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
