I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
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I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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