why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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