They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize