Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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