Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
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I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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