hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
