You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
