Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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