She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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