Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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