we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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