ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Soap is not a condiment
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
