i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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