So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just threw up on my dentist
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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