If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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