You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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