we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
