I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He? As in you personified your dick?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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