Do you still have your period?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize