I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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