im six kinds of drunk right now
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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