Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
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my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
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Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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