My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
BRING THE BAGELS
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..