We're facebook friends in real life
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
