FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
