This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
