i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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