You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
