so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
